Last night, as I checked Facebook, I saw this post by my sis, "20 years ago today, I had a rude awakening about how fragile life is. My life has never been the same, I totally miss my sister! She was awesome! Thankful for my belief in eternal families.."
The only thing I could say was "Amen!" because I totally miss my sister, also.
I was thinking about things and all that has changed in the last 20 years, and I tried to remember that night. Seriously, it came in flashes.
I remember being so excited to go dancing with Shauna.
I also remember wanting to go home and change shoes... little did I know what awaited me at my apartment.
It was dark when I walked up to the door and there were TONS of post-it from several people telling me to call them and to stay put.
(From here on out, things in my memory get spotty.... shock is the official medical term. I prefer 'shattered' because that is what I was for a very long time.)
Mark M. telling me that my sister had died in a car accident (he had pulled up right behind us).
Jen R. helping me pack (actually I think she packed for me).
Shauna V.O. driving me to Pocatello. I sobbed the whole way without a stop.
Mark M. loading me into his truck in Pokey and taking me home.
My sibling's faces when I walked through the door.
The next few days were a blur. I have very little memory the days leading up to the funeral.
I remember walking into the church and seeing the casket and her husband.
At one point, I had to step outside. I just needed to breathe. I walked out the door just as Steve and Jamie arrived. I remember that I lost it. I do remember my mascara on his shirt as I sobbed in his arms.
I remember the awful wind at the cemetary - oh, that's right it was Idaho in June. Actually, Idaho at any time.
Alright. I have sobbed enough this morning.
20 years is a long time, but, thankfully, love and families are eternal.
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